Moving to Melbourne... Round 2!

It would be weird to begin this post without mentioning what has arguably been the biggest political event of our time. What a week! Watching the US election unfold over the past five days has been intense. I was glued to the internet, watching states turn red or blue, and then waiting what seemed like an agonisingly long time for the final few states to be declared. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have felt like to be an American citizen, on either side of the political spectrum. Last night we watched the Harris-Biden acceptance speeches, and what an inspiring pair they are. After a very tumultuous year, this feels like the beginning of something new and hopeful.

And now, on to some news that is a bit of an anti-climax compared to the election, however is still a very big deal in our lives... We are moving back to Melbourne! 

After nearly two years of living in Toronto, Canada, we have decided to return to the world's 2nd most liveable city. I'm announcing this as if we decided it yesterday, but in reality it is a discussion Andy and I have had on and off since we arrived in Canada last March. We officially made our decision over the summer, the tipping point being when I was contacted by my old school and offered a job. It's been an emotional rollercoaster and one of the hardest decisions of my life. But when we wrote a list of pros and cons there were a ton of reasons why we should move back to Melbourne, and only one BIG reason to stay: the grandparents.

Leaving my parents, and the relative proximity to Andy's parents in England from Canada vs. Australia, was a huge, HUGE blocker for us. It is the main reason we left Melbourne in the first place. It's also the reason it has taken me so long to write this post. I know my parents will read it and it will be upsetting for them, despite the fact that they OF COURSE already know we are leaving. (Imagine that reading this blog post was how they found out? I think I'd be written out of the will...) I think they understand, in fact I know they do, however I am not sure I will ever get over the guilt I feel at taking their grandchildren to live halfway around the world. 

So I feel guilty and selfish about the decision a lot of the time. Which I probably need to get over. Andy and I have made a decision, which we firmly believe is the best one for our family in the long term. Of course the "best" decision is not always the easiest, and nor is it a perfect one. These are also things I have to remind myself of constantly. 

Coming back to live in the country I grew up in, after 13 years abroad, was more difficult than I thought it would be. When I lived in England and Australia, being Canadian was a really strong part of my identity. I really thought I would slip back into life here quite easily. But I now feel like a bit of an outsider, although it is hard to put my finger on exactly why. As one friend reminded me when we first arrived in Canada, I have spent my whole adult life living outside Canada. I moved to London when I finished university, spent seven years there, and then moved to Melbourne for an additional six years. So I am really not the same person I was when I left Canada at the ripe old age of 24. And repatriation is full of challenges, as this article points out. 

There have been times since we moved that I would think back to our lives in Melbourne and feel incredibly sad that this was over, and an intense longing to go back. I knew I would miss Melbourne, but I could not have predicted how much. Our move is much more about going back to a place we loved, rather than leaving a place we don't like. Toronto is a great place to be... but Melbourne has stolen our hearts.

Melbourne is also where our two children were born. It's where I became a mother and where Andy and I started our own family. I think there is something about the place you lived when your children were babies that makes it a really special place. 

And so here we are. We are set to leave two days after Christmas. We were hoping that my brother and his family would be joining us in Canada for the month of December, but with the pandemic raging through the US, that is looking more and more unlikely every day. I am very sad that we won't see them, and that I won't get to meet my baby nephew Camden for at least another year now. We have a loose plan for everyone to come to Australia for Christmas in 2021, but our new pandemic-era lives have made me wary of getting my hopes up about travel plans. 

Planning our flights back to Australia has not been without stress. Luckily the four of us are Australian citizens, so there has been no visa paperwork associated with this move, which is a relief. However Australia has had very strict border and quarantine rules since March. Only citizens and permanent residents are allowed to enter Australia, and everyone entering has to quarantine in a hotel for two weeks. Arriving passengers are taken directly from the airport to their quarantine hotel, where you are delivered three meals a day and will only have access to fresh air if you are in certain states or are lucky enough to get a room with a balcony. It's safe to say I am dreading this part of our move!

Back in June, Australia seemed to have conquered Covid, and life was pretty normal across the country compared to most other parts of the world. But in Melbourne a breach in the quarantine hotels led to an outbreak, spreading through the state of Victoria and leading to one of the most severe lockdowns in any part of the world. The airport in Melbourne was also closed to international arrivals, putting pressure on the quarantine programs in the other four cities that were still accepting international flights: Sydney, Perth, Adelaide and Brisbane. The government then implemented a cap on arriving Australians, at 4000 per week. The cap has led to a backlog of Australians trying to get back to Australia, and to some airlines only selling business class fares. Fortunately for us, this seems to be more of an issue with flights going through the Middle East and Asia, whereas flights through the USA seem to be much more reliable. We are due to fly with United from Toronto to San Francisco to Sydney. We will then quarantine in Sydney for two weeks before continuing on to our final destination of Melbourne. And as of today the state of Victoria has had no new Covid cases for 9 days, so it looks like the lockdown was a success.

As I mentioned above, I will be returning to my old school at the end of January. Andy has also managed to secure a teaching job at an excellent independent school in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. I have even managed to find Ollie a daycare place, and Ella will start "Prep" (the equivalent of Senior Kindergarten here in Ontario) at whatever local primary school we end up living closest to. We are looking to rent initially in an area that is close enough for me to ride my bike to work again, which I am super excited about. 

One of my biggest concerns is around the transition for this kids, and Ella in particular. At five years old, she seems to understand that we are moving. She also gets that Australia is a long plane ride away. We still FaceTime with one of her besties in Melbourne, Gemma, so she must recognise that we never see Gemma in person anymore. I wonder if she makes the connection that once we move, she won't see any of her Canadian friends, or my parents, in person anymore. Ella is not one to share her feelings willingly so we have to look for subtle clues for how she is handling things. 

Over the past week or two, she's had some tantrums over issues dealing with control, which I thought she had grown out of. But when I've reflected on this I have realised that perhaps because the move to Australia is something that is confusing for her, and not in her control, that she has a need to feel in control in other areas of her life. So I am try to be conscious of this and allow her to have some of that control when I can. It's not easy to always stay patient with her, but I'm sure an overseas move is not easy for a 5-year-old, so I guess we are even. 

This is one of the reasons we decided to move back to Australia sooner rather than later. The older the kids get, the harder the move would be on them. So although we will face some challenges with Ella, and Ollie too once we are there, I feel like they are still at an age where they will be able to settle into new situations with more ease than if they were, say, teenagers.

I am sure we will have more updates about the move over the next two months. But mostly we will be trying to enjoy the rest of our time here in Canada with my parents and the family and friends we have here. 

Australia March 2019

Canada March 2020